20 March 2010 - Due to excessive rain the grand opening of the Slough Caverns has been put back 5 years. The scheduled opening is now expected to be April 2015. Debbie Longlegs, spokesgirl for the Slough Caverns Trust based on the Cayman Islands said that this gives us plenty of time to mop up all the rain water and stuff as its hard work. All ticket sales will be honoured for the 2015 opening and people that hold advance tickets should make a note in their diary for April 2015. In the mean time Debbie Longlegs says people should continue to look at the pictures on the web site as they are cool.

9 March 2010 - Mr Eddy Brown and that girl will be the first couple to get married in the caverns. The wedding is booked for next Sunday.
The ceremony will be conducted by Captain Caveman. The reception will be held in the Tescos staff canteen where no expence will be spared on the tasty array of chips, mash, beans and peas available.
The lavish meal will be washed down by tescos value tea from the tea urn in the corner.
Wedding guests are welcome to park in the spacios Tesco Car Park and welcomed to take part in the 5p/litre off petrol currently on offer.

19 December 2009 - History of the Reservoir behind Kennedy park Britwell by Robert Grace. The water in the Reservoir fell on Denmark about 2 centuries ago and is filter through rocks until it surfaces in Britwell after travelling though the newly found Slough Caverns. It has been proved by scientist seeding clouds with a radioactive isotope in Denmark and then checked the water in Brtwell and found the water was active.

4 November 2009 - Gordon Brown signs lucrative Gold Mining contract with the Slough Gold Mining Company. For more information and photos click here: Gold Mining In Slough Berkshire

3 July 2009 - Alexandra Whittaker of the Manchester Subteranean Bat Society has been awarded the contract to undertake a population study of the caverns bat colonies. The studies which will all take place at depths of 2-3 miles beneath Slough train station will be carried out at night as the bats are nocturnal. Alexandra Whittaker says he's thrilled at being awarded the research project, and has currently set up base the in new apartment blocks next to Slough train station which is just a 2 minute walk from the caves main entrance within the Tesco superstore. The service lift is currently not available to the general public because of European health and safety regulations regarding stale air which is found in random pockets in the caves and sends people loopy.

28 June 2009 - Professor Sally Munnings of the Open University Geological Society, Oxford Branch undertakes research programme to investigate subteranean hydrological channels connecting the caverns with aquifers across Oxfordshire and North Wiltshire. The research programme is currently looking for associate research staff to set up special interest groups for particular aspects of the study. For more information please contact Professor Sally in Oxford.

11 February 2009 - Continuing bad weather, including the wrong type of snow through out January has further hampered deep construction activity putting the opening of the first sections of the cavern system way back, probably to coincide with the recovery of the British economy. However, an observatory platform has been erected at the top of the Queensmere Observatory Car Park just off of the A4 on the other side of Tescos. The observation platform, located on the 10th floor of the car park facing North, by the trolly park has breath taking views over the cavern system stretching as far afield as Beaconsfield and even Heathrow Airport. Entry to the observation platform costs £5.00/adult with children allowed in free. An additional charge of £1.00 is made to use the binoculars and £1.50 to use the Telescope. Microscopes can be made available upon request for school parties and groups etc. It is recommended that visitors bring warm clothing and wellington boots as caves can be cold and wet.

2 December 2008 - A long awaited breakthrough has been made between Slough Caverns and the Hell Fire master cave of Wycombe which includes the igneious intrusion of rock wool that forms the Maidenhead Diamond mine. Professor Oakenstal at the High Wycombe Institute for Mining stated that the discovery, which was facilitated partly by sismic activity brought on by Trains, represented an incredible opportunity for the declining Maidenhead diamond mining industry.

15 May 2008 - Planing permission has been granted for 120 BTL (Buy To Let) flats to be located in the upper most reaches of the cave system. The new developments will benefit from underground parking, natural organic lighting and climate proof insulation. A spokeman from Slough Building Society was reported to have said that these are going to be excellent investment opportunities and that even off plan, now is the time to buy. Completion of Slough Caverns Apartments is scheduled for June 2010 when the property market is predicted to have picked up again.

13 March 2008 - I used to live at number 10 Chandos Street up to 1964 above and behind the Hairdressing shop and I remember we had a shed at the back where the coke for the Ideal range/boiler was stored. This would have been situated according to your details of the cavern above the Eastern part of the complex. I often wondered why the pile of Coke in the shed never seemed to reduce in size even though we used a couple of buckets full every day. Now I realise that it was being constantly topped up from below in some way.

I would be grateful if you could investigate this phenomena.

Can you register my name to join the expedition into the Caverns when 'Health & Safety' officers proclaim the cavern as safe to enter.

Best Wishes from Mr Burgess

27 February 2008 - The opening of the Slough Caverns to the general public has been put on hold indefinatly as concerns are raised over the cavern systems safety in relation to the development and expansion of Slough Airport, a project which is already way behind schedule. In the meantime, Slough County Council have put forward a proposal to open the Hershell end of the system up to be used as the worlds largest underground carpark, thus relieving some of the strain on the towns vehicular overcrowding.

21/06/07 - Treacle seams have been found at depths of approximatly 4300ft. The seams similar to those found in cavern systems in the Lancashire Karst region have been rated good for industrial use but of insufficient quality for consumer consumption. The treacle which has a chemical viscocity similar to unrefined oil is said to be found in a sizable seam being fed from a deeper and possibly purer reservior in an as of yet uncharted region of the caverns.

04/01/07 - An elevator shaft has been commissioned to carry explorers 2.5 miles below the surface to the main cavern artury below Eton. The elevator shaft, said to be the largest in the world, will consist of 17 seperate shafts connected via staging posts and will allow explorers more speedy access to the heart of the cavern system. Currently the dangerous journey to the centre of the cavern system takes explorers 32 hours to reach via the existing natural system of fissures, crawlways and conduits. The shaft will lead into one of the smaller caves of a system of vast caverns which is just over 150m from floor to ceiling and will act as a staging post for further exploration.

21/11/06 - New rock bands discovered beneath the PFJ strata signify yet another significant and exciting discovery below rising sun formations and limestone deposits. The banding is thought to reflect a grouping of tectonic shifts in the Slough area roughly 2000 years before the first signs of Paleozoic activity has been traced back to previously. Much of the crystalised rock structure known as Coolus Strumus from the cooling of hot rock through liquids under pressure shows similarities with earlier geologic finds by Cleese in his works: The Anatomy Of Large Berkshire Geologic Formations 1889.

01/11/06 - Hydroplate theory prooved. Extensive examples of Dr. Browns hypothesis on deep reservoirs, 10 miles below the surface contributing to ‘dips’ in the magnetic polarity of rock planes have been discovered appromatly 2.5 miles below Langley Park. Geologists euipped with subteranean bathescopes, submerged within waters whose temperatures are in the supersaturated 110oC+ level are currently surveying the finds.

07/08/06 - Bats discovered in Delta quadrant. A huge colony of living bats have been found some 800m below Burnham whose numbers are estimated to be in the hundreds of thousands. The giant colony of Rhinolophus hipposideros bats with 15 to 19 mm body lengths and weighing just 5 to 9 gm prey mainly on small insects and fish.

25/07/06 - Insect moulds found in Lower Miocene limestone. The organic compounds of the insects were removed during the diagenesis, and after the rock lithification leaving its external structure preserved as impression in the rock. These exciting discoveries shed new and fascinating light onto the nature of this system which whilst more than a kilometer below the ground must once have been exposed to the prehistoric surface environment.

10/05/06 - Shale seams discovered at depths of 1370m above grit and limestone. This fascinating discovery would indicate coal measures although geologists and geophysical experts doubt they would be too extensive. The find would however indicate late Caenozoic era activity which would imply later Carboniferous exposure with a late Paleoproterozoic ocean environment.

17/04/06 - New cavern sections discovered stretching beneath High St